Republic of Close Talkers

I hate people being all up in my face and personal area and here, there is a clear difference between the amount of personal space allotted in American culture and the amount allotted in Turkish culture. Basically, you don't get any personal space in this culture. If the bus is full of empty seats (which is rare) and you sit by yourself, someone is sure to sit next to you even if there are 10 other open seats. Every greeting is a hug (and not the little pitter patter, butt out hugs, or side, one arm hugs) but a full on hug and two kisses on the cheek. 

All those things mentioned above don't really bother me, unless I'm in a grumpy mood. However, the one thing that gets to me the most is the abundance of Close Talkers. Turkey is a nation full of close talkers. 

I was walking down the street the other day and one of my students saw me and approached me and, no lie, I almost pulled one of these. 

I wanted so badly to ask him remove himself  from my area but I didn't want to be rude cause talking that close to someone here is perfectly normal. I just can't take it though. And can you imagine in the summer time having someone that close to your face? Oh my God. 

I don't want to discuss it any further, its upsetting me. 

Until next time, folks. 

Unfortunate Fish Fry

For the last few weeks as you guys know, I've been craving something than Turkish food. So the other day I thought I would quit complaining about the lack of foreign food and be proactive about my situation. I decided I would head down the the big grocery store on the Metrobus, buy me some fish and have a fish fry. 

I had never been to the huge grocery store here yet but I had just assumed that it would be pretty similar to the American grocery store -- But of course assuming makes an ass out of ume now doesn't it?

When I got there, I went searching for the seafood section which proved the be in vain. There was a tiny meat/frozen food section where I found some frozen fish filets in a packet. Okay whatever, that will do just fine... So I thought. 

I purchase my seasoning and some corn meal then I make my way home. I start prepping, getting my eggs and cornmeal set up right and finally I crack open the bag and the most repugnant, antagonistic smell came to me. 

I immediately went straight to Google and put in the word hamsi which is in big bold letters on the bag to see which type of foul fish I was dealing with. It turns out hamsi is anchovies (insert sad face here).

WHO FILETS ANCHOVIES THOUGH?! THEY'RE MAD TINY!

Apparently, anchovies are a popular fish between the months of November and March. The name even comes from the arabic word hamsin which means "winter period." They fry it, grill it, steam it,  turn it into a meatball, or put it in a sandwich. Gross. 

Needless to say, I had to scrap my dinner plans. I ended up just throwing my fish below to the hustling ass cats that live on my street.

 I ended up eating only fries for dinner. 

Sigh... The culinary gods frown upon me. 

Watch Your Mouth, Girl: 3 English Words You Shouldn't Say In Turkey

Well its no secret that I have a potty mouth -- At least for those of you who know me. I really do quite enjoy a good swear word. Plus, Mark Twain once said, "Let us swear while we may, for in Heaven it will not be allowed."  

Amen

I couldn't have said it better myself, Brother Twain. So naturally, since being here I've picked up a few swear words. (My favorite one is actually a Punjabi curse my roommate taught me -- Pudya Vinda). However, in my cultural cursing discoveries, I've found that there are three English words that are actually obscenities here in Turkey. So come and read along as I show you how our everyday words are dirty ones in Turkish. 

I. Pushed

I was teaching a grammar lesson on the simple past tense. Of course, when I came to the word "Push" I simply told my students to put an "ed" on the end of it to make "pushed." As soon as I said the word,  a few people in the class giggled and a couple others frowned up their faces in disapproval. One of my male students told me that it was a very bad word to say and warned me against using it in public because it could start a fight. So I asked him, well what does it mean -- cause the fact that the mere mention of the word in public would start a physical altercation peaked my interest even more. Unfortunately, he refused to tell me. I later found out that the closest translation for it in English is "Bastard Two Faced Person"  which doesn't sound all that crazy to me but I figure most of the meaning is lost in translation. 

II. Sick

If I ever ask my students how they are feeling and they happen to be feeling under the weather, they always will say, "I am ill." Being a native English speaker, we would probably say "I'm sick" so I always thought it was kind of funny but I just attributed that to the fact that English was their second language. Of course I found out the other day that there is a specific reason for them not using the word "sick." In Turkish, "sick"  means "dick." 

Yup, they even rhyme. How cute is that?

III. Um

Um is probably the king of all American filler parts of speech (Uh would probably be queen). Be that as it may, in Turkey um  is non existent as a particular speech disfluency -- Their version of um is ya'ani. But if you do find yourself here one day, its best to try to trade in your um's  for uh's because here it is the equivalent to our curse word "pussy."That's right, little did I know, I had been saying pussy more than the self proclaimed Pussy Monster himself, Lil' Wayne. 

You learn new shit everyday, right?

Observations: My Patriotic Duty To Be Uninterested In Soccer

Soccer  is EXTREMELY popular here in Turkey. People get Super Bowl hype for every single match and I'm not exaggerating. Whenever an Istanbul team wins, you hear horns honking, drunk people running and screaming in the streets, people shooting off celebratory guns shots -- It reminds me of how Philly went crazy when the Phillies won the World Series.  Basically, people act a damn fool. I don't even go outside when there's a game on.

Last night, though, I went to a friend of a friend's house to watch the Galatasary and Real Madrid match -- Which is like a rivalry of epic proportions. Like Cowboys vs Eagles, Ja Rule vs 50 Cent, Haitian vs Dominicans big. Now if you know me then you know that I'm not the biggest sports fan in the world and out of all the sports, I definitely couldn't give a rat's ass about soccer but whatever -- When in Rome, right?  

So there was a room full of Galatasaray fans and one fool in there going mad hard for Real Madrid. I only call him a fool because Turks are OD emotional when it comes to soccer so you can't just be trash talking all crazy when a match is on. But sure as shit, this guy was going in and everybody in room was giving him the nastiest stink eye you could ever imagine. One guy even asked my friend why she brought him and later on we had to take him aside and tell him to tone it down or else we weren't gonna make it out alive.

Real Madrid wins the match and what followed was quite possibly the saddest loss I've ever witnessed. When the game was over, everyone in the picture above got up from their seats, literally did not say one word, put on their jackets, and left the house without even saying goodbye to each other or to the host.  Might as well have been a scene from a Charlie Chaplin film cause wasn't NOBODY talking, bruh. The most pitiful of the pitiful, I tell you. 

But if you're anything like me (and by that, I mean a stereotypical American) you're probably thinking things like, "Why get your panties in a bunch over a soccer game?" and, "Isn't soccer a game for 8-13 years old girls who don't have the skills to play basketball?  Yeah. I personally don't get it, either.  

All I really know is this -- I refuse to call this game football. Its one of my non-negotiables. It is my patriotic duty as an American citizen not only call it "soccer"  but to also to remain completely uninterested by any means necessary.

America, fuck yeah. 

Argo: Who Gon' Fact Check Me, Boo?

Yesterday on my day off I sat around, ate baklava, and caught up on my beloved American cinema. One of the movies that I watched was Argo. I must say that it was absolutely excellent. It had me shitting enough bricks to rebuild Tenochtitlan. Anywho, as the movie progresses, there is one scene where Tony (Ben Affleck's charater) is obtaining fake papers in order to enter Iran. This scene is filmed in Istanbul. 

Since I love yall so much I've conveniently embedded this clip for your viewing pleasure. 

So please, indulge...

The scene starts off with a lovely panoramic view of the Golden Horn . Then the scene changes to the exterior of the famed Blue Mosque and shows Tony walking into the entrance.

Now here's where I gotta put my mans Ben Affleck, as a director, in check. Once his character enters the mosque, the interior shown is not the interior of the Blue Mosque -- Its the interior of that Hagia Sophia which is actually across the street from the Blue Mosque. Allow me to show you...

Hagia Sophia Interior 

Blue Mosque Interior 

Not to mention towards the end of the scene, Tony and the other character are standing in front of a huge ancient painting of Christ -- And in Islam there are strict laws against idolism. So a big fat Jesus piece would be all wrong in the Blue Mosque. 

So knowing all this and being a huge movie buff, I had to share this with you guys. I won't allow yall to be Istanbul Ignant in these streets. 

YOU NOT GONNA CATCH ME SLIPPIN, HOLLYWOOD. 

Negro Pudding Cake

When I get off of work, your girl gets a little hungry so I stop at this little restaurant on the way home. The other day, I was looking for something sweet. I grabbed the menu and turned to the dessert page -- I had been to the place a million times before but never had dessert. So I'm scanning the dessert page, looking to satisfy my sweet tooth and then I get to the option listed third from the bottom

See for yourself. 

No, your eyes have not deceived you. You can have "Negro" for dessert and you bet your candy ass that's exactly what I ordered. I wasn't trying to eat there so I got my Negro to go. Not knowing what exactly it would taste like or what it was made of, I unwrapped my dessert with a little bit of excitement. 

When I opened that jern, what seemed to be a chocolate pudding-esque delight lay before me. Then I dipped my spoon into it and there were like little round cake balls inside of the pudding.

After a few spoon fulls of Negro pudding, my stomach started to ache from all the chocolate and with every additional spoon full it got nastier and nastier. I could go on no longer ... I didn't want a repeat episode of The Sultan's Revenge. 

Or, you know, maybe it was my inner black moral compass rejecting the dessert. 

 I'm officially a cannibal.  

African American Turkish Brazilian

Turkish women it call it your "ozel bolge" literally meaning "special district." Go to any Turkish hair salon (called a kuafor) walk through the salon and there is almost always an upstairs where you can get your nails and your waxing done. Anyway, carrying on, I've been here for a month so I was due to be taken care of.  So I goes in there and I'm kind of anxious cause I didn't know how the whole process goes down here and whatnot. 

After waiting for about 10 minutes one girl brings me to the back waxing rooms and I says to her, "Ozel Bolge" and she knew what time it was. Naturally, next, I drop my drawers and get on the table and as soon as she see me s she goes "Ooooh different. Very cool!" in the thickest Turkish accent ever -- and by different she was referring to the texture of my pubic fibers. I'm just a girl trying to get my monthly maintenance done and I'm sitting there spread eagle with this girl (bless her heart) calling my vagina cool. 

I'm sorry, ma'am, but is my name Sarah Baartman?  ... No. Didn't think so homie.

When she gets over the initial awe of my black ozel bolge, the most horrific Brazilian session I've ever experienced commenced. 25 minutes of pain and agony -- TWENTY FIVE I SAID. And let me make this clear, it didn't take that long because I'm a hairy brutish barbarian -- No, no. She did not know what on Gods green earth she was doing. I couldn't be too mad though because how many black women's nether-regions have passed through that salon? Probably none. There's a first time for everything and somebody has to be the guinea pig. Best part about it though was that it only cost me seven American dollars. Be jealous ladies. 

So in conclusion, I would just politely that you please remember my "special districts" in your prayers tonight and pray for their quick recovery.

It would be much appreciated. 

The Grand Hustle

The Grand Bazaar is one the worlds oldest and largest covered markets with 61 covered streets and 3,000 shops. So of course, knowing this and being the history freak that I am, I had to make a visit to this famed market.

I don't really have much to say about it other than the fact that I was 100% unimpressed -- I think its because I'm not a traditional tourist and so I know that the majority of the stuff in there is a straight rip off. Everything in there is extremely over priced and gimmicky. If you ever make your way to Istanbul, its worth taking a look around just to say that you've been, but I pity the fool who opens up their wallet to drop dollars on some trinket that was actually made in China or India.  

In short -- See the sights, save your money.

The Grand Bazaar... More like

The Grand Hustle

A Natural Abroad

Being natural in the Sates is hard enough --  At least for me it is. Constantly being pumped with images of women with long, luxurious sew ins and flat ironed tresses. So when I moved to Istanbul a month ago, I thought the pressure to straighten my hair would be even greater. However, to my surprise, my prediction has been proven wrong. In fact, the reception my hair has received here in Turkey is the exact opposite of what I was expecting. People find my hair fascinating, exotic, and drum roll... beautiful. Now its not that I don't love my own hair, I'm just not used to other people overwhelmingly admiring and taking such a genuine interest in it . Its actually quite a bizarre feeling.

 On any given day, (and quite frequently I might add) I'll be walking down the street and some random person will come to me and begin to touch my hair and say "Cok guzel!" which means "Very pretty" in Turkish. My students love to ask questions about how I style my hair, how long it takes, what kinds of products I put in my hair etc. A whole lesson down the drain because of an impromptu natural hair Q&A session. One time I told my students that my braids were not my real hair and bless their little hearts, they couldn't wrap their heads around the idea. So at the end of class I gave them a little braiding tutorial -- Their minds were 100% blown. BLOWN, I tell you. 

That being said, there is a downside to being a natural abroad in this side of the world.Turkey's Black population is EXTREMELY low and as a result, the demand for Black hair products is damn near non existent. I knew that before coming here and made sure I had my hair in a protective style and that I had fully stocked up on hair supplies -- Dropping dollars at the beauty store before I left. I must say, too, that I'm so happy I stocked up because I've been in beauty supply stores here and A.) There's no Black hair products in sight and B.) The prices of hair products here are out of control. The struggle would be so real out here for a sister without a protective style,  no products from home, and no hair salon to go to. Being a DIY natural with a degree from  the esteemed YouTube University has really come in handy. And as my arsenal runs out, I'll probably have to ask my people back home to send me hair care packages. 

Despite the product issues, its nice to be able to feel like other people like your hair as much as you do -- A great confidence boost. Its something that I don't feel much of back home (which is part of the reason why I sometimes have periods of excessive flat iron relapse). Since being here, I haven't felt that urge once - Not that I feel there's something wrong with flat ironed or permed hair, I just know that I use heat to the point where my hair is unhealthy.

 Going abroad is one of the best decisions I've made in my life thus far and being able to feel comfortable with my self image has mad it all the more easier to settle in. 

So for all you naturals who aren't getting shown any love back in the States, buy a ticket to Istanbul and I'll take you around and help you get your mind right! 

                            

A Few Things I Learned Since Coming To Istanbul

Tomorrow it will have been a month since leaving America and moving to Istanbul. I don't know what it feels like to yall but it definitely feels like longer but whatever. Anyway, I've learned a few things during my short time thus far and in the spirit of my 1 month stay I figured I would share with you folks. 

Let the sharing commence...

1. TURKISH HOSPITALITY SHITS ON SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY 

No diss to all you country bumpkins but your particular brand of hospitality may be nice but it doesn't compare to what I've experienced here. If you are a guest, you are treated with the most respect, warmth, and compassion. It really is a way of life for them. Whenever I am in the school cafe, I never pay for my tea, coffee, or snacks. Students have taken me out for coffee and dinner and insisted that I not pay for anything. I've had my cabs paid for, been given gifts, and had students make my worksheet copies in the office. I'll probably get fat because my students are constantly offering me their food and if I decline, they simply keep on insisting so I eat out of obligation. Shop owners also offer me tea and snacks if I stay in their store for more than 10 minutes. Its to the point where you feel guilty and you're taking advantage but its normal to them and actually quite rude if you do not accept. Its is so OD here that southern hospitality almost makes a mockery of it. I'm telling you, they're treating me like their Nubian Queen --

 Matter of fact, yall can just call me Queen Tiye from here on out.

2. BURGER KING REIGNS SUPREME 

Eff what ya heard about McDonald's being the most popular fast food joint cause that simply isnt the case here in Istanbul. Real talk, I've never seen more Burger Kings in my life -- and people actually enjoying it too. Burger King only came to Turkey in 1995 but by the early 2000s already had more restaurants than McDonald's.  Now McD's only has around 180 and BK has over 300 (only second to the US in the amount of restaurants). If you ask the Turks which one they prefer, they are most likely going to tell you BK. Apparently, the meat is tastier because they cook on grill that Turkish people are used to and at the moment they are more accessible since there are more restaurants open. 

Wtf right? 

3. I TOOK AMERICA'S "MELTING POT" FOR GRANTED

From what I've noticed, Turkey is pretty much culturally homogeneous with the exception of the Kurds. The country is also 99.8% Muslim. I never really took the time to appreciate the cultural diversity in America until I came here and one area where I feel it most is when I'm eating. Son. I eat the same damn tavuk doner (a sort of chicken sandwich) everyday man. Even when I switch it up, the food is still cooked in a similar style with similar spices. Turkish people also aren't big on food from other cultures so its hard to find a restaurant with something different. I miss having the option of Thai, Indian, Mexican, Italian, or Chinese food. You just can't get that here and it breaks my little food loving heart. When I go home its about to be on and poppin cause your girl gonna go on a culinary world tour.  

4. TURKISH ETHNOCENTRICITY GOES HARD

Until I came here, I used to think that Americans had to be the most ethnocentric people in the word but dawg... In some cases Turkish people be on some next shit. One time I was trying to have a discussion with my students on different kinds of foods, and my students kept saying they only liked Turkish food. So I asked them if they tried any other kind of food and they basically replied "No" because they claimed that they already knew that Turkish food was the best and there's no need to try anything else. Another time I was trying to ask a class where they wanted to go and they said they didn't need to go anywhere else because Turkey is the best. Most of my students couldn't even tell you where the West Indies were --I tried to explain that once too and it was a lost cause. No lie, their ethnocentric shit is can be outrageous. 

5. RACE RELATIONS? ... THEY NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE

Simply put, the Turks don't have the same history of Black vs. White as much of the rest of the world does. Also, oddly enough, it seems as if many of the negative stereotypes have not reached this part of the world. Its strange to say, but I really don't think Turks look much at the color of your skin. From conversations I've had with students, this is what seems to be the case. Most of my students know very little or nothing about slavery or American Civil Rights or any of that. Many of my students have flat out told me that they always though black and white people in America have always been equally-- Cray, cray. I almost feel uncomfortable with the thought that people aren't looking at my race. 

 That just shows you, though, how fucked our society has made our minds.

How warped does my brain have to be in feel slightly uneasy in a space where race isn't such a big deal?

6. IF YOU'RE LOOKIN FOR CHIVALRY, ITS HERE IN TURKEY

Gonna keep this one short and sweet. Turkish men are gentlemen.  I'm talking, paying for everything, holding doors, the whole ladies first rule, all of that  So to all you ladies who like to moan and groan all over Twitter about chivalry being dead, get off the computer and go buy yourself a plane ticket to Turkey so we don't have to hear it no more. BYE. 

As of now, that's all I can think of. Sorry if you were looking for some deep, self reflective lessons but it just aint happening in this post. Maybe by next month or by the time I leave I'll have that Oprah Winfrey couch interview material ready for you but right now just let me be great with the basics. 

Temple of Artemis

The Temple of Artemis was one of the 7 Wonders of the Ancient Worlds and it was also, hands down, the most wondrous  disappointment of my archaeological escapades last Monday. I was thinking I was gonna see something OD crazy -- Something that would make my pee my pants in excitement but nah son. Due to raids from invading peoples and earthquakes over the centuries,  all that's left is really one big ginormous column and some scattered piles of rocks here in there. Half of the site is waterlogged too.

But even though it was the most underwhelming site of the day. it is nice to say that I actually saw it, nah mean? 

Last Home of the Virgin Mary

Even though it is widely debated, it is widely believed that after Mary was brought to Ephesus by Apostle John, her last residence was on Nightingale Mountain (About 4 miles up the mountain from the Ephesus archaeological site). It was close enough to the big city, yet remote enough so that she could maintain a low profile and be incognito. It is believed that she lived here until she died from natural causes at the age of 64.

The house is an official pilgrimage site of the catholic church. 

The house itself is extremely small. There is only a very small entrance room, a slightly larger main room, and an exit way the size of the entrance. She must have lived very humbly. The site also has a spring which is hooked up somehow to a fountain. I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to take any water but I emptied out my water bottle and filled up. Its believed that the water can cure illnesses and procure miracles -- Idk about my water now though. The act of stealing it might have negated all of its healing properties. Whatevs. 

Oh and by the way, no pictures were allowed inside the sanctuary but you know me. Of course your girl procured a few photos. Gotta have documentation, nah mean? 

Sorry Mary. 

Entry Way

Inside Main Room

Old Wall Fresco

(Not sure how old it is)

View After Exiting

After you exit the home, there's a place where you can light a candle and say a prayer and that I did. Surprisingly, there was only me and 2 other people in sanctuary at the time. You would think there would be crowds of people but it was the exact opposite. Very quiet, very serene. It was just as you would expect for the former home of the Virgin. Now that I'm thinking about it, I would describe it as a beautiful experience. 

Cave of Seven Sleepers

Following my tour of Ephesus, I took a little detour to a less frequented site in Selcuk. Its called the Cave of the Seven Sleepers. As I mentioned before, Selcuk is home to a lot of early Christian historical sites and stories. This one is quite interesting, so I thought I would travel off the beaten path and check it out. 

After I exited through upper Ephesus, I walked down a long road for about 20-25 minutes. From there, I banged left on this gravel road and walked for another 20 minutes or so. While walking, there was literally no one or any cars on the road. Just me -- Quite eerie. I've seen too many horror movies to be doing shit like that, but I was determined. So I walk down this second road and I come to a few small houses with old Turkish women sitting around drinking tea. And right outside the houses, there was a sign for the cave.  I walked up a steep hill for about a minute and bam, there it was. 

AND IT GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS...  

During the 3rd century AD, the epic beef between the Roman State and the early Christians was still raging. This was, of course, because the Christians refused to worship and make sacrifices to the Roman gods and goddesses. When the Emperor Decius was due to come to Ephesus, seven young Christian men escaped the city to avoid persecution for defying the Roman State. They hid in a cave up in the mountains where they fell asleep. When the Roman soldiers found their hide out, the emperor ordered the cave sealed.

Two centuries later an earth quake broke down the wall and miraculously woke up the men who then re entered the city to find food. They returned to Ephesus to find that Christianity was now the accepted and official religion of the Roman Empire. The Emperor Theodosius was informed of this miracle and recognized it as proof of the doctrine of Resurrection -- which at the time was a major issue within the Church. 

When the young men eventually died, they were buried in the cave and a church was built over the resting place. 

I couldn't walk into the caves because it was fenced off but I snapped some pictures through the fence.

Nobody was up there but me, either. Kind of an uncanny feeling. 

Shit you don't hear about let alone see everyday, man. 

  

Real Hustlers of Ephesus

Before I go on to detail the next place I visited while in Selcuk, I'm gonna go ahead and talk about something I noticed while walking around Ephesus right quick. 

Many of these tourist destinations are plagued with thirsty Turkish business owners who harass you as you enter and exit these historical sites. You also have these bootleg freelance tour guides who will relentlessly be all up in your face trying to make a buck. Even though its extremely annoying and I'm usually a hot target because my skin immediately gives me away as a foreigner, I can't knock the hustle. Everybody's gotta eat. 

But the real hustlers of these tourist traps here in Turkey are not the men hawking you, telling you to buy their goods and use their services. No, no. If you were thinking that, then you are sadly mistaken. The real hustlers in these streets are the feral cats. These aren't no scrawny pitiful looking things either -- Their clearly well fed, healthy, and surprisingly clean. They gotta be 10 times more thorough than the ones that are in Philly.

Anyway they're clearly scamming us poor unsuspecting tourists. All they do is lay around, get lavished with attention and food from people who find them to be so precious and irresistible. Straight chillin. 

So shout out to the hustling cats of Ephesus. I tip my hat to you.

 Stay grinding, stay hungry. 

   

Ancient Ephesus Highlights

Before I hop from subject to subject, I figured since I last blogged about my inter city travel experience, I'll fill you guys in on my trip. Anywho, I traveled from Istanbul  for 10 hours to a small town 2 miles from the Aegean called Selcuk (pronounced SELL-CHOOK). Selcuk is attracts hundreds of thousands of tours because of its early Christian history and its proximity to the ruins of the Ancient port city Ephesus. And lucky you, now you get to read all about it. 

Ephesus was one of the largest cities and most wealthy cities in the ancient Mediterranean world with a population of 250,000. Its wealth was due to its natural harbor which is now 3 kilometers from the archaeological site. Ephesus was one of the seven churches of Asia that were cited in the Book of Revelation, Letter to the Ephesians is in reference to the people of Ephesus, the last home of the Virgin Mary is nearby, and St. John is also buried nearby as well. The city was eventually abandoned because over the centuries, the natural harbor silted up and it ceased being the epicenter of trade and commerce. So as you can see there is a lot to  discuss so lets get this show on the road. I'll start with the highlights of the official archaeological site. 

The Great Theater: This amphitheater was by far my favorite part of touring the city. Its hard to imagine the vastness of it but it was simply amazing. 

Just walking up to the top and sitting for the moment really made my day.

The Church of Mary (Double Churches): This is the church where the Catholic Church officially declared that Jesus was both human and divine (431 AD) and also the first church ever dedicated to Mary. The church itself was first built in 2nd century AD. 

The site is completely in ruins but you could tell the complex was extremely large. Below you can see the baptismal pool still remains. Not much left but the history make up for what the remains lack. Poppin. 

Library of Celsus:  If you type "Ephesus" into a Google image search, you're most likely gonna come up with either an image of The Great Theater or a picture of the Library of Celsus. The library was believed to have housed 12,500 books, which was a substantial amount at the time. I could especially appreciate this because as the daughter of a librarian, I have an affinity for books -- In the words of the ever so eloquent Juvenile, "She get it from her mama."

The Public Toilets:  Last but not least and certainly the most amusing was the public toilets. The seating is extended around four sides of a wall. Below there was a deep sewer that was flushed by a continuous flow of water. The toilets were roped off so I was unable to capture a pic of me taking a fake #2 so just a pic of the toilet will have to suffice. Don't be shy, step right up, drop your pants, and take a squat. 

I tried to keep it as short and simple as possible with the archaeological site. It took me around 3 hours to completely tour the entire ancient city. It would have been impossible to outline everything that I saw while I was there. I just wanted you guys to see my faves. The only problem I had was that I forgot to pack my walking shoes in my bag so I was stuck wearing the flats I wore to the bus station. Son. By the end of the day I had all kinds of blisters and band aids plastered all over my feet. 

Small price to pay for the chance of a lifetime, I suppose. Also, please just pretend like you didn't notice my ashy left foot. Thanks. 

I Get Around Pt. 2

In one of my first posts I filled you guys in on the ins and outs of getting around the city of Istanbul. Well, I took my first intercity trip Sunday night to a little town on the Aegean called Selcuk to visit the Ancient ruins at Ephesus.The town is actually filled with a crazy amount of early Christian history but that's neither here nor there right now cause before I blog about that, I gotta tell yall about these dope inter city buses. 

I have to say that when I found out that the easiest way to make my way down there was by bus, I was very apprehensive. Cause if America can't get its life together between Megabus and Greyhound (Don't eem get me started) then how on God's green Earth is Turkey gonna have its long distance transport game right? I had visions of me riding on rusty, crusty bus the size of Big Worm's ice cream truck. And like so many things since I've been here, your girl was wrong yet again.  *Sigh* 

The buses here are 10 times better than any inter city American bus I've ever been on. And being from Rochester and living in Philly, I've been on countless bus trips for innumerable amounts of hours. I booked my ticket with the Kamil Koc bus company and I was so pleasantly surprised.

Firstly, these buses were extremely punctual. As a very impatient traveler, I truly appreciated that -- Don't have no time to be messing with Megabus and their CP Time nonsense.  So when you get on the bus the first thing you notice is that their Mercedes buses and each seat had a personal TV. You could watch anything from CNN to ridiculous melodramatic Turkish soap operas. The seats were so incredibly comfortable, too. This was such a relief because I had literally gone straight from teaching my evening class to the bus station with no time to rest in between. None of that funny business where your butt cheeks go numb from sitting on those God forsaken Greyhound seats. Oh, and lest we not forget the wifi. 

So just as I'm getting comfortable and settled into the ride, the man who clearly works on the bus come down the isle like a flight attended with drinks a snack tray -- "Oh word? Say no mas." is exactly what I said to myself when I saw that. Of course, like a creep and complete foreigner, I snapped a picture of this for your enjoyment:

So I got me a nice hot tea and this Turkish fruit cake. At any rate, this guy goes up and down the isle I think 3 times during the trip. On top of that, though, there is a button that you can press to request his services. WILD. I know, my mind was blown too. 

The trip took about 10/11 hours in total. I slept the entire time and it was a night bus so I can't really tell you about the scenery along the way. I can tell you however, that at one point the bus had to board a ferry boat for about an hour or so in order to cross the Dardenelles. I stepped out for a bit onto the ferry deck but I couldn't see anything in the dead of night and honestly I was just too tired. I got over trying to experience the Dardenelles real quick and went back to the bus to sleep -- I tried. 

Even now just thinking about the subpar bus service we are used to is making me want to foment revolution at Megabus headquarters. When I go back to the states and, no doubt, have to get back on a bus at one point in time, I just KNOW Imma be mad, marinating in my own saltiness cause the buses here are simply on another level. 

Its Never That Serious (Just a Note)

This post will be quick and easy. The other day I was at work and I had to go to the bathroom really bad. For whatever reason, I hadn't taken a trip to the bathroom at work yet. So I walk into the bathroom -- Nothing out of the ordinary.

I opened the stall and to my horror...

NAH, YO.

I'm sorry, but going to the bathroom will never be that serious for me. Ever. 

I just can't be bothered. 

Sultanahmet Square: Basilica Cistern

I know my posts have been less frequent but that's because I officially started working 2 weeks ago. Making that paper. -- I'm sure I'll have posts about that in the future. For now, though I decided it would be nice for me to talk about all the places I've visited in and around the city. So these posts will be for all you uncultured heathens who asked me, "What's in Turkey? Why would you even want to there?" 

Well , guess what? Turkey got tourist traps on traps on traps. 

Don't belee me? Juh watch ... or read. 

First, I'm gonna break yall off with a piece of the historical peninsula in Istanbul. Locally, it is referred to as the Sultanahmet District. This district is home to Istanbul's biggest tourist attractions including the Hagia Sophia, the Basilica Cistern, the Blue Mosque, and Topkapi Palace. I'll be going in the order I visit/visited them which leads me to my first attraction, the Basilica Cistern. 

The Basilica Cistern or Yerebatan Sarayi ("Sunken Palace" in Turkish) is the largest of hundreds of ancient cisterns beneath Istanbul and was built in the 6th century under the Emperor Justinian. 

The people who settled around the cistern were provided with their daily water through various openings in the ceilings. 

 

In the western corner of the cistern, there are two column bases in the shape of a Medusa heads. Traditionally, the story goes that the Medusa heads were oriented sideways and inverted in order to negate the effects of Medusa's stone cold gaze. Apparently, however, archaeologists say it is most likely because  they needed them to be the proper size to support the column. -- That shit sounds super whack  to me so I'm gonna choose to subscribe to the traditional story. 

It took me about 10-15 minutes to tour the whole cistern. The fact that there's still water and fish in there was pretty awesome,. The architecture was beautiful  and the Turkish Ministry of Culture and Tourism had the mood lighting on point. Had me feeling like I was at a spoken word joint. But I enjoyed the Medusa heads the most . So, without the Medusa heads I probably would have rated this attraction a 7.5 but instead I'm gonna give it an 8.5 -- I'm a Greek/Roman mythology freak what can I say? This shit really lights my fires. 

And just like the Black person I am, all I could do was repeat the Andre 3000 line from his feature on John Legend's "Green Light," "So I went hard like Medusa staring at me." 

SIDE NOTE:  If you fancy seeing the Basilica Cistern in one of it's theatrical appearances, take a looksie at The International with my man Clive Owen. Its a pretty good movie. 

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