Last April I left Istanbul in a sudden rush. No doubt, I was elated to be home where I could easily access all of my American favorites. There were so many things I missed about home while I was over there. I constantly craved Dunkin Donuts -- The only DD in Istanbul was this tiny stand in a mall in a neighborhood called Bakirkoy and it tasted like bitter walnuts and grass. I missed McDonalds because for some odd reason the Turks are obsessed with Burger King. I missed access to black hair care cause Lawd knows there's no such thing in Turkey and most poignantly, I missed my family and friends -- Every day I was there I wished that I could have smuggled them over in my suitcases.But lately, I simply cannot help but miss Istanbul, the Queen City. I think about that city often, fondly, and with an acute warmness in my heart. I miss everything about that place sometimes much like I missed home when I was there. All the romanticized sentiments one can have about a foreign land, I hold in my heart for Istanbul.
I miss the Imam's call to prayer. Even if you're not Muslim its hard to ignore the beauty of adhan. I miss eating after work with my roommate at Etiler Cafe (one of our favorite spots), chatting and gossiping about the old miserable teachers we worked with. I miss coming home to my roommate's proper cup of English tea -- something I try in vain to replicate here at home. I miss the Bosphorus. I miss being down on Eminonu and being able too look across the water and see Asia. I miss the efficiency of public transportation (I still have my IstanbulKart) because we all know how much of a failure SEPTA is. I miss the generosity of the people there... You haven't experienced hospitality until you've been to Turkey. I miss having tea or salep with EVERYTHING. And I miss learning something new every day and I miss meeting and having conversations with people from around the world -- people I would have otherwise never met or knew existed. People who helped shape my experience in that country. 
I find myself watching documentaries about Istanbul, recalling when I visited the places highlighted. When I'm at work I look up cheap flights to see how much it would cost to spend a week there. A few weeks ago I sought out a Turkish restaurant because I was craving kofte and salep. I dragged my friend along with me but she was not nearly as excited to be be there as I was.
I want to go back... Nah, scratch that I need to go back. I don't think there will ever be a time in my life where I won't feel that Istanbul and I have a special relationship. I still cannot fully articulate why I chose Turkey. Going there was like the quest for the Holy Grail. I mean, who gives a shit what or where the Holy Grail is -- Its the quest that's important. Its the changes that come with the quest that are important. Matter of fact, the more I think about it I feel like Turkey chose me. And as random as it may seem to those who inquire about my time there -- A black American girl in love with an ancient Ottoman city -- there is nothing more genuine than my feelings for that place.
And I am eternally grateful to even experience those feelings because I know that not everyone will truly empathize with the sentiments I speak on. I think people my age are so wrapped up in being financially successful that they forget that there are other more enriching experiences to be had. I think a lot of my peers put of all their energy into building their careers and there is nothing wrong with that. But what I've also come to realize is that there is also so much honor in trying to seek out the world. There is so much to be learned, so much an office or grad school program could never teach you. 
Life is short and the world is big and that is a fact we shouldn't be taking for granted with all of our youth and energy.
I know now that moving to Turkey post graduation was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I cannot think of a better way to have spent that time -- contrary to what many have said to me. I cannot wait to go back one day to hug my friends, visit familiar places, and neighborhoods and to fill the void curable only by the breathtaking beauty of Istanbul.
Until then, I hold you, Istanbul, affectionately in my heart.
Brittany
