A Few Things I Learned On My Way To Istanbul

Well I made it safe and sound. I haven't really gotten to explore yet because by the time I got all settled into my flat it was already around 5:30 PM over here. So that being said, I figured I would just take the time to talk about my thoughts on the journey over here.

Shall we commence? ... Lets.

1. SOMETHING IS BOUND TO GO WRONG

    And I say this not only because of this one trip but because of previous traveling experience. Even when your travel plans are going relatively smooth, at least one bullshit thing will happen to you. In this case, while making my way from Rochester to Newark Airport, I realized I left my computer power cord at home two hours into the drive. WOMP. Had to stop in this middle of nowhere town and pay $80 for a universal power adapter. 

2. ROCHESTER'S AIRPORT IS ONLY CONSIDERED INTERNATIONAL BECAUSE IT FLIES TO CANADA

GAY. Hence the 5 hour drive to Newark.

3. YOU CAN BRIBE THE CHECK-IN EMPLOYEES

So although I did successfully pack everything in two bags to avoid paying $200 for each extra bag,  these fools were gonna try and charge me $400 because both of my bags were over the 50 lb limit by only about 4 lbs. Luckily for me, the young man working the check out was running a little side hustle. I gave him $60 dollars to overlook the weight of my bags -- Financial disaster successfully averted. Shout out to you, young man, where ever you are. Swiss Air should be proud of your entrepreneurial spirit. 

4. ZzzQuil WORKS

Took some ZzzQuil so that I could sleep the entire 7 hour flight from Newark to Zurich. Might as well have gotten shot with a tranquilizer gun, bruh. Your girl was GONE. Slept through dinner and breakfast on that flight. Not to mention in doing that I don't have to deal with jet lag cause homie don't play that sleeplessness nonsense. Gotta keep my circadian rhythm on point. Ya heard me?

5. LINDT CHOCOLATE TASTES THE SAME IN SWITZERLAND AS IT DOES IN THE U.S.

If you ever find yourself in Switzerland, standing in front of a Lindt Chocolatier shop, don't be a fool like me and buy it thinking its gonna taste different in its homeland. I'm not gonna tell you how many Euros I spent for a small bag but I will tell you to save your money. You can buy this shit at Rite Aid. 

6. YOU CAN SEE THE SWISS ALPS FROM AN AIRPLANE

I ate lunch while catching an aerial view of the Swiss Alps. What did you do today?

7. TURKISH AIR KNOWS HOW TO FEED YOU

I used to look forward to getting biscoffs on the plane -- Not anymore. Turkish Airlines really just changed the game in monumental ways here. For only a two and a half hour connecting flight, I was served a meal of marinated chicken breasts, tomato rice, green beans over olive oil, plum cake, followed by Turkish tea (çay) and dried apricots. 

But basically from this point on anybody tries to hand me some dry ass pretzels/peanuts, I'm taking it as blatant disrespect and I'm slapping you across your face.

So anyway, I know seven an odd number to end with but this basically what happened during the 12 hours I went off the grid. 

Also just wanna thank God for getting me here safely and making sure my baggage didn't get lost. Amen.