Its Never That Serious (Just a Note)

This post will be quick and easy. The other day I was at work and I had to go to the bathroom really bad. For whatever reason, I hadn't taken a trip to the bathroom at work yet. So I walk into the bathroom -- Nothing out of the ordinary.

I opened the stall and to my horror...

NAH, YO.

I'm sorry, but going to the bathroom will never be that serious for me. Ever. 

I just can't be bothered. 

Sultanahmet Square: Basilica Cistern

I know my posts have been less frequent but that's because I officially started working 2 weeks ago. Making that paper. -- I'm sure I'll have posts about that in the future. For now, though I decided it would be nice for me to talk about all the places I've visited in and around the city. So these posts will be for all you uncultured heathens who asked me, "What's in Turkey? Why would you even want to there?" 

Well , guess what? Turkey got tourist traps on traps on traps. 

Don't belee me? Juh watch ... or read. 

First, I'm gonna break yall off with a piece of the historical peninsula in Istanbul. Locally, it is referred to as the Sultanahmet District. This district is home to Istanbul's biggest tourist attractions including the Hagia Sophia, the Basilica Cistern, the Blue Mosque, and Topkapi Palace. I'll be going in the order I visit/visited them which leads me to my first attraction, the Basilica Cistern. 

The Basilica Cistern or Yerebatan Sarayi ("Sunken Palace" in Turkish) is the largest of hundreds of ancient cisterns beneath Istanbul and was built in the 6th century under the Emperor Justinian. 

The people who settled around the cistern were provided with their daily water through various openings in the ceilings. 

 

In the western corner of the cistern, there are two column bases in the shape of a Medusa heads. Traditionally, the story goes that the Medusa heads were oriented sideways and inverted in order to negate the effects of Medusa's stone cold gaze. Apparently, however, archaeologists say it is most likely because  they needed them to be the proper size to support the column. -- That shit sounds super whack  to me so I'm gonna choose to subscribe to the traditional story. 

It took me about 10-15 minutes to tour the whole cistern. The fact that there's still water and fish in there was pretty awesome,. The architecture was beautiful  and the Turkish Ministry of Culture and Tourism had the mood lighting on point. Had me feeling like I was at a spoken word joint. But I enjoyed the Medusa heads the most . So, without the Medusa heads I probably would have rated this attraction a 7.5 but instead I'm gonna give it an 8.5 -- I'm a Greek/Roman mythology freak what can I say? This shit really lights my fires. 

And just like the Black person I am, all I could do was repeat the Andre 3000 line from his feature on John Legend's "Green Light," "So I went hard like Medusa staring at me." 

SIDE NOTE:  If you fancy seeing the Basilica Cistern in one of it's theatrical appearances, take a looksie at The International with my man Clive Owen. Its a pretty good movie. 

  -

There's No Place Like Home

 

I've always been the type to want to try something completely new and step out of my comfort zone.I also  I tend I enjoy my solitude and my time alone. When I had to go to middle school, I chose the school where most of my friends weren't going. When it was time to choose a high school,  I chose to leave the School of the Arts when all of my friends stayed. And finally, when I had to pick a college, I picked Philadelphia -- A place where I had never been to and knew no one. Each time I did well. I never really had problems adjusting. I was hardly ever homesick when I first moved to Philly. I didn't even go home once for my entire 1st semester. I always thought it was funny when my friends frequently went home because I never wanted to. 

There's nothing funny or sarcastic to say in this post, though. I just flat out miss home. Don't get me wrong, the experiences I'm having here are invaluable and I will never forget them but as cliche as it is -- There's no place like home. There's no people like the people you left at home either. I miss my family, even though they get on my nerves when I'm in Rochester. I miss my cat. I miss sitting on Samantha's couch until it got too late for me go all the way back to West Philly. I miss my other friends very much so as well. -- If you're reading this you guys know who you are. I miss Dunkin Donuts coffee. I miss having different kinds of food to eat -- Besides shit fast food, you can only really get Turkish food here. I miss speaking English. I miss being able to watch Netflix. Hell I never thought that I'd say this but I miss school and I miss Philly. I'm not even a month out of undergrad, and I'm steadfastly looking forward to grad school. In regards to Philly, of course I have a list of complaints about it but its what I know. Its where I spent the majority of the past 5 years. Its where I've done a lot of growing up. 

I speak to my parents more than I ever did living in Philly. I watch NBC Nightly News everyday on the internet because it reminds me of home. As I type this, I'm watching The Color Purple because it helps with the homesickness. I go through old pictures on FB. I stay up late because I feel like I'm missing out on the day on the East Coast. This homesickness is real -- Never felt anything like it before. And at times (like on my days off or when I get in my bed at night) the feeling always is amplified. Enough to make you irrationally decide to book a ticket to come home next month.

Like I said before, I'm really enjoying this experience but I really don't know how people become expats. 6 months is just enough for me to experience, live, enjoy, and then make it back to America before I begin to resent the place for not being like home. 

Sorry, if you guys were looking for another laugh but on top of being a sarcastic ass, I also can be quite sentimental and emotional. 

Anyway, I miss you guys. 

Brittany

Sultan's Revenge

I'm gonna give you guys a fair warning. This post contains entirely too much information especially for you men who choose not to believe that women go poop. If that's you, I promise you this post will leave you completely disillusioned. But what good is this blog if I can't keep it real, right?

So here we go: 

My gastrointestinal tract has met its formidable match here in Turkey. This is what people like to refer to as the "Sultan's Revenge" ... and bruh, you don't want no problems with the bul Sultan. Its primarily the result of your stomach trying to adjust to the different kinds of bacteria in the foods and drinks here. It is also often referred to as Traveler's Diarrhea. I had heard about it before I came here so I made provisions in case I might run into problems. Basically, though, I was thinking -- Nah, yo I got bowels of steel. Ain't no way I'm going out like that. Ha!  -- 

NEGATIVE

Silly, me. This entire morning was spent in the bathroom, bubble guts on 110%. Luckily for me though, the Sultan and his 16th century ass are no match for my modern medicine goon squad:

 Mylanta, Pepto Bismol, and Tums--The realest in the game

Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea aint really bout this life. They just not. With that being said, my digestive system is back in full effect, ready to put them paws on the Sultan next time he come around. 

Popped some Tums cause I'm shittin'. WHOO!

B.White of Zamunda

Today was my first day at work. I didn't have to teach a class but I did have to head a one hour speaking activity where you essentially sit with your students and casually converse with them. Since I'm a new teacher they had many questions for me. They showed a considerable amount of interest in the fact that I was American -- A good majority of the teachers are from either Canada, South Africa, or England. 

The students started asking where in the US I was from and I told them NY. After I told them that, they continued to ask where my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents were from. Every time I answered the "America" they kept replying "No, no, no!" and laughing like I telling them a joke. Then one of the more advanced speakers asked me where my family immigrated from. I told them my family has been in America for hundreds of years repeatedly but they simply wouldn't believe me ... (I later found out that this is because they have virtually no knowledge of the American slavery system). 

Honestly though it was the end of the class and I just got tired of trying to convince them. So rather than trying to give them a small history lesson (which would have been the right thing for me to do), I decided to tell them my family was from the African country of Zamunda just to shut them up.

Now, if Zamunda sounds familiar to you, its probably because you've seen the classic 1988 film Coming to America. Its the name of the fictional country Prince Akeem Joffer (Eddie Murphy) comes from -- But unless you're living under a rock or extremely White, then you already know this. So you understand the level of pure, unadulterated ignorance that I was spreading among these unsuspecting Turks. 

AND In doing this, I know I just committed what would be considered a mortal sin in the eyes of the African American Studies department but Molefi Asante n 'nem could just take a seat cause your girl got ignorant jokes that need to be told. 

Maybe one day I'll give them the real story but let me just ride this wave for a while without judgement.

Side Note

Lets give a shout out to James Earl Jones (the actor who portrayed Prince Akeem's father) for playing Mufasa, the greatest fictional African king in American cinema. 

There's Something About Brittany

All of my posts thus  far have been about my general day to day in Istanbul and not specifically dealing with being black in Turkey. Surprisingly, I get the feeling that that is due to the fact that Turks do not generally view Black people in any particular way. I had heard before coming over here that this would be the case but I couldn't really wrap my head around it. Turkey is not necessarily a melting pot of cultures, so I figured I would be subject to side eyes, unfriendliness, and cold shoulders. This is simply not the case. It is apart of the Turkish culture to be inherently welcoming and accommodating especially to foreigners. 

However, I have caught people staring at me on the train or in the street -- Stares that seem to stem from curiosity and not ill feelings or suspicion. People say things to me in Turkish when I walk by -- And judging by the tone its spoken it, I never take the words to be insults. Today, though, let me TELLLL YOU. Even though I had a feeling what was behind those stares, whispers, and comments, all that came to light today during and after my Bosphorous Cruise (which I'll tell you guys about when I'm not as tired). 

But bless their hearts, these people out here acting like I'm the most exotic thing they've ever seen. One man flat out told me I was an "exotic beautiful woman" while I was touring a little town called Anadolu Kavagi and after the cruise people came up to me (in some cases ran up to me) on three different occasions just to take a picture with me. One little girl even starting petting my hand and hair -- Of course knowing this was most certainly blog worthy, I asked them to take a picture with my camera as well. Definitely the most entertaining part of my day. 

FIRST THIS

I had just gotten off my Bosphorous cruise and was standing near the docks when these two girls ran up to me with HUGE smiles on their faces and tugged on my coat. Then two ladies, who I assumed to be their mothers, pulled out their camera phones and started snapping away. All paparazzi like and what not.  

NEXT THIS 

After my cruise I headed over to the Suleymaniye Mosque -- I know I look OD ridiculous with the scarf over my head but you know how the Islam thing goes. But word to Allah, Muhammad Ali, and Louis Farrakhan  this boy pictured here almost broke his neck trying to sneak a picture of me. So I just told him to stop playing and come get a piece of this hot chocolate -- resulting in this here fabulous picture of course. 

THEN THIS

This little girl was the cutest and most excited of my admirers today. She ran from across the courtyard of the mosque and hugged my leg. Her parents whipped out their camera phones and took pictures as she stroked my hand and patted my hair. I enjoyed her a lot.

So how funny is this? Guess the Turks missed the Black stereotype memo that was sent to the rest of the world. Fine by me.

Maybe I should stay here and be treated like the Nubian Queen that people wont let me be in the States.

 I'M TRYNNA BE GREAT AND THESE TURKS BE LETTIN ME

I Get Around

WHEW. So a lot has happened today. I was finally able to make it out of my neighborhood and venture into other parts of Istanbul. Today was a lesson in how to travel around the city. And let me tell you my friends, this makes SEPTA and the NYC Metro look like the "Basic Bitches" of public transportation -- They simply ain't shit compared to whats going on over here. There are so many ways of getting around this city its overwhelming.

Allow me to walk you through this...

FIRST THINGS FIRST.

First problem that needs to be solved is simply trying to navigate your way to the Metro station. It is apparent to me that people in Istanbul don't believe in street signs -- or pedestrian cross walks, or safe driving skills, or just general traffic regulation but whatever that's another story. So I found my way, and had to cop me an Istanbulkart which is basically a Metro card and is pictured above.

#THEULTIMATESTRUGGLE

Because I only know how to count to five in Turkish and I only had 50 TL bill (Turkish Lira) on me and there was no way in Hell I was gonna put 50 on that card... Your girl just wanted some change back. After sometime of unsuccessful communication, the frustrated people who were waiting behind me ended up helping a sister out. Struggle mission completed. I was all set to gallivant across the city to my leisure. So here we go.  

DOLMUŞ

The Dolmuş, meaning "Apparently Stuffed," is by far the most triflin form of transportation I've ever been on.  They are overcrowded little mini buses that run throughout the city and are only allowed to follow a certain route, similar to the Owl Loop for all you Temple Students. The reason why I find this experience particularly terrifying is A.) The lack of actual, physical seats. No lie, there's only like 5 seats on that entire bus -- Thats just so highly unacceptable, its not even funny and B.) The way you pay the driver -- People in the back of the bus ask you to pass their money up to the driver. The driver has a straw basket full of coins and bills, he digs the change out of the basket while driving, and you have to pass the money back down like an assembly line. 

Just absolutely ghetto as all hell.

I'm never riding this tacky ass bus again. 

 METROBUS

The Metro Bus is a normal bus. Nothing like the Dolmuş, thank you Jesus, praise the Lord. Its clean, its efficient, there's no passing anybody else's crusty ass money up to the driver... Just a simple swipe of your Istanbulkart and you're good to go. However, I did take the wrong bus coming home from work but I quickly found my way back. No biggie. I got this.

METRO

The metro is the subway in Istanbul. My neighborhood station is the Atakoy-Sirinevler stop. The train reminds me of the Broad Street Line in Philly with all the orange. Like the metro bus, it is simple efficient and clean. Again, just swipe your card and go. 

TRAM

The tram is the upgraded version of the Philly trolley system. Its an above-ground light rail. This one is the T1 which take you through the old city and to most of the famous historical sites located in the Sultanahmet area. You can catch one of these bad boys in the middle of the street or transfer from the metro. 

SEA FERRY

I stole this pic from Wikipedia because I haven't ridden it yet. But you get the point. The sea ferries takes you back and forth from the European and Asian sides of the city. 

SEA BUS

Stole this jawn too. Haven't been to the Asian side of things yet but I'll let ya'll know when I do.

All these modes of transportation are city operated. Thus far, it seems as if Istanbul pretty much has their shit together when it comes to moving people around the city efficiently and affordably.  Excluding the Dolmuş -- I didn't leave the hood in Philly, fly halfway across the world just so I can ride on some ignorant ass bus around town.